Rob and Melissa Stephenson from Flea Market Flipper discuss the power of positivity and how a positive mindset can impact your business.
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Reseller Hangout Podcast – Rob & Melissa (On Positive Thoughts)
Rob: What's up, guys? On today's episode, we are talking about positivity.
Melissa: Can surrounding yourself with positive influence, really help you in your business?
Rob: Stay tuned!
Melissa: All right guys. So this is something that is, can be super important and it's something that does not come naturally for me, but it does come naturally for this guy.
Rob: That's right.
I'm a very positive person. I have the positive outlook on a lot of stuff.
And Melissa and I, we compliment each other very well, but we didn't really realize this until just recently.
Melissa and I are coaching right now and we have an actual, what would you call her a mindset coach? So in this coaching program, we actually have a mindset coach who's assigned to us, and has been working with Melissa and I, and we started realizing that Melissa's outlook is a little bit different than mine. But we balance each other out very, very well.
Melissa: And I almost get this coaching every day because we talk about our business every day.
Rob: But it's important in our growth because Melissa reels me in. I'm so far out there on not just necessary, not necessarily positivity, but on what I want to accomplish and what I want to do.
Exactly. And Melissa reels me back in because she's not that, but I on the same part, I help her.
I'm not negative, I'm a realist.
I help her pull out of where she's at. And, the thing about this is how this relates to every single person in business. No matter what business you're in, what you're doing, you need some positivity around you.
If you constantly have that inner dialogue of, I can't do this. I can't accomplish this. Who am I to do something like this? You got to combat that with something. You have to be able to combat that with something
Melissa: We were talking about today and listening to another podcast and realized that we do have that every day, but a lot of people don't.
A lot of people are in this alone. You're in your reselling business by yourself. Maybe you don't have support or, you know, you're doing this by yourself and maybe your family doesn't necessarily think it's a cool idea or something and you get a lot of negative talk back, and then you just start thinking in your mind, or you tell yourself things that aren't true.
Like, I can't do this. It's too hard. I can't, you know, something bad's going to happen, I'm going to get a return. And then you just start having all the inner dialogue. You don't have anybody to feed off.
Rob: That's right. So the million dollar question, what do you do? What if you are that person who may be your spouse, does not give you that positive dialogue and you need it, or you know, your business partner, whatever it is, what do you do if you do not have that positive dialogue?
That's what we want to help you guys with today, is figuring out what to do.
Melissa: So there's definitely a couple of different things that you can do. It is putting yourself out there a little bit and making effort. I would say, making effort to go find that positive influence in your life. So whether that be somebody on the same journey as you, another reseller that's in your same, you know, that you kind of help each other and keep each other accountable.
Maybe you go follow more positive people on social media. Maybe you delete the accounts that are not positive. And that's another part of it is removing negativity, too.
Rob: Getting that negativity will you'll feed on that negativity. We listen to John Lee Dumas, JLB. He has a podcast and one of his famous sayings at the end of the podcast, and I don't know if it's his or somebody else's, but he says you are the average of the five people you hang out the most with. And that's what he talks about. Are those five people that are in your inner circle are those positive people, are those negative people? Are those people that are
Melissa: making you grow?
Rob: Exactly. Definitely right now, take a mental note or, you know, take out a piece of paper and think about those people that around you or even those close friends.
Are they building you up or are they tearing you down? Not saying you going into all your friendships, but just take note and think, okay, well, you know, John, he, whenever I talked to him, he kind of, you know, he kind of is more of telling me, no, you can't do this or no, that's impossible. Think about that.
And then I mean, try to limit the time that you're spending with these people who may be negative. And try to fill your time up with some more positive people around you. Some other friends that might be positive.
Melissa: Maybe you're just taking less time, you're investing less time in those friendships and not to, you know, like you said, you're not cutting off family and friends, but you do have to kind of evaluate, are these people really helping me grow or are they holding me back?
So, and try to seek out those people that you relate to or that you want to, you know, be more positive, more productive.
Rob: Yeah.
Melissa: What's the word I'm looking for?
Rob: I don't know, but even if you have a spouse that is not totally positive, that doesn't mean you're supposed to go leave your spouse. We're not saying that do not do that, but that's one of those things that try to find somebody who can come in and be that positivity in your life.
Melissa: And that's kind of something, a reason why we share our experience too, on social, on podcast, because we want to, and we do our motivation Monday. Listen to our motivation Monday, we do it almost every Monday, unless the kids are at school. We had something thrown in their thing, but it's just like a little bit of positive to start your week. And you love that because that's I don't know.
Rob: Well, in the world we live in right now, guys, almost everywhere you look almost everything is negativity. So you're surrounded by, oh no, this is going on here. Oh no, this is going on here. This is going on here. Be scared. It's one of those things that if you're in that, that will totally, totally, determine how you act in it.
You're bringing that into your life and it's very, very hard. So, what can you do? What can you do when you're surrounded by negativity. One of the other things that you can do, I should say is find those podcasts, find those uplifting podcasts, find that audio book of entrepreneurs who are giving you that advice or that positive spin on business.
That is one of the other ways that you can find it. If you don't have friends around you, that can lift you up maybe you can find some of those podcasts that will lift you up or books or something like that.
Melissa: Yeah. Find the people that you really like to follow on social media, like we talked about, but social media can be a slippery slope because there are tons of negativity on there too.
So you just have to weed it out and try not to get sucked into the drama or negativity and find those people that are drama free and doing the things that you want to do. Cause there's a lot of them out there.
Rob: Who doesn't love some good drama guys, but try and reel it in. Only take so much in because I'm telling you if you just start thinking about that stuff that you're letting come into your life or your mind, and you see that it's more of a negative slant you'll... guys it's so hard to rise above that. And that's one of those things that you just think about the positive people that are around you or what you're bringing in, whether that's, I mean, Melissa and I, some of you guys know this we've stopped listening to news.
Probably what has it been? Seven, eight years ago, 10 years, 10 years ago, we don't listen to news. Like we don't have live TV in our house for news stuff. And the point of it is because almost every time I'd listen to news, it was talking about somebody got shot here.
Somebody did this and somebody robbed the bank and it was like, okay, I don't really need that. And I would do it in the morning when I'd get up and eat my breakfast. I would sit there and watch the news for the day. And it's like, wait a minute. What is this doing for me?
Melissa: And then you also started, you were driving a lot, for your other, when you did the inspecting job, you'd be driving all the time and you listen to talk radio and then you'd start listening to a couple of people.
You'd like them. And then you started realizing that everything is a negative spin. Like, everything they talk about is just a negative spin. It doesn't make you feel any better. Like it's not helping you in your day. So you stopped listening to that.
Rob: Yep. So for Melissa and I, that's what we did. We're not suggesting you guys do that, but that helped us, that helped us get the negativity out in the morning, getting the negativity out in the morning, and then trying to replace it with some positive outlook or some people who were positive.
Melissa: I even had to take it off my phone because we don't listen to the news, but then we got new phones a couple months ago. No, I remember it last year that we got new phones. I don't know. We always get like the next, not new newest, newest the next one, but we got new phones and my apps were back in set and I had the news on it again and the news topic every day and it's like, okay, I can't do this.
Like I got to turn them off. So now they're off. If something really big happens we'll find out about it. Somebody will tell us, or we'll find out about it on social. So we're not that worried about it.
Rob: That was the next thing that I was going to say is definitely okay, Rob, what if something crazy happens and I got to find out about it? Guys, if something crazy happens in the world, we will know about it one way or another.
Everybody is plugged in, your neighbor, your friend, your coworker, somebody is going to let you know, hey this is what's going on. So you will definitely find out about it.
Melissa: There's no way you would not find out.
Rob: Some major takeaways, guys, check it out. Try to think about those people who are the key people in your life. If you like takeaways, note those five people that you're spending the most time with who is your inner circle?
Melissa: Friends, family, podcasts, people on social, that those can all be those.
Rob: Absolutely. Who are those people take note of them and then think, is this positive, is this lifting me up in what I'm doing?
Or is it more giving me a negative outlook on my day? And then those are the people that you have to either reel in. I mean, you have to take a little bit time off or, you know, not as spend as much time with them and try to replace it, try to find either a podcast or another friend that you know, that's very positive and do that.
Melissa: I was going to say, also finding those people and then sometimes finding, even a group of people, like a community is very helpful. So there's a lot of different communities online that you can be a part of. Try to maybe avoid the ones that are high drama. Cause that can lead into more negative thinking.
But yeah, there's a lot of great communities out there to get involved in.
Rob: And what would this be without some positivity at the end? Guys, you guys can do this, you can do this business. You guys can resell. I'm telling you do not listen to that inner voice. Hey, I can't do that. Or I don't know how to box or I don't know how to freight ship this. I don't know how to, you can do it. You just have to make the decision and take a one step at a time. That's the biggest thing is take that one step and you guys can do it. Melissa and I love to be your positivity and listen for us on motivational Mondays. We love giving people some positive outlooks.
And, like I said, you guys can do this a hundred percent.
Melissa: One more thing that I just thought of to add into this too, is it's not necessarily easy. You have to make a choice to change your outlook. Because for me, like naturally, I'm like, okay, I'm a natural worrier. I tend to go to anxiety.
This happened, like this could be bad or what could happen? Like, that's my natural state. Like before we go on vacations, trips or anything, we get to the Grand Canyon, I'm Googling how many people fell off the Grand Canyon. Like that's where my mind goes all the time. So I have to fight it. Like it's not an easy thing to fight.
We go to the Keys, seeing how many people get bit by sharks and you would vouch for it. Like this is real life. This is what I, this is how my mind works. So I have to make a choice to not let myself go down that negative thinking. And when he is so positive, I can almost get annoyed by it at first, like, okay, just stop.
Like, I can't even think about that right now, but over time, like making the choice for that positive versus that negative. Like if I would have let those negative thoughts take over, we would never go anywhere. Like we would stay in our house and not ever go anywhere. And we've been on some awesome vacations and they're fun.
Like maybe I'm a little bit cautious, but we would just stay home and not do anything if I let those negative thoughts just stay in their heads. So I just had to add that because it’s not natural. And if it's not natural for you, that's fine. Like you can work on it. You can get there. So you just have to make that choice to not let the positivity annoy you and really you grow a lot from it.
Rob: Absolutely. Absolutely. All right guys, you guys rock. Have a great day and we'll see you on the next episode.