Rob & Melissa from Flea Market Flipper share tips on working with your spouse.
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Reseller Hangout Podcast - Working With Your Spouse
Rob: What's up flipping fam? Today we are stoked for the episode talking about working with your spouse.
Melissa: We get the question all the time. Like how do you guys work together 24/7? So we work from home. You're always together. So how does that work?
Rob: All right, guys. So we get this question quite a bit. How is it that you guys can work together?
Melissa: It's not something that happened like right away, super easy.
So it's something that we've had to work through. Now we've been home together full time for six years now. So working on our business and it's not all butterflies and rainbows, but we've learned a lot.
Rob: Absolutely. And even before that, we had flexible schedules where we were spending time with each other, even before that.
Melissa and I have been married 15 years this year. It is our 15th anniversary this coming year. So yeah, we have been together for a while and it is definitely something that you learn, you learn to work with your spouse. You kind of learn how to push their buttons and how not to push their buttons.
It's one of those things that you definitely, that's very, very beneficial, when you're working closely with your spouse.
Melissa: And I remember we used to have, so we'd have different schedules and when we started having kids, then we'd had to go and work opposite schedules. Cause we had a little bit of flexibility with both of our schedules. So we had to, some, one of us had the kids and then the other one worked and we flip-flopped. So we weren't together as much.
Rob: So, so yeah. And most of you who are listening to this, probably if you are doing this, this is a side hustle that you might be doing with your spouse.
And you have to learn how to have that synergy or working together without really scratching each other the wrong way without, making each other upset. And it does happen between Melissa and I as well. So, I do know I'm very, very unproductive if we get into an argument or we have a disagreement or something like that, I can't do anything.
And Melissa is kind of the opposite. She goes to work and she just works her butt off. So those are kind of the things.
Melissa: I can't be as creative if we get into an argument because yes, we do get into arguments. Well, fewer, I would say, but we do get into arguments and then you can't especially like creating any content or doing any of that, like that, it just throws everything out the window.
So that's fewer and far between now.
Rob: One of the other things about Melissa and I, we both have different strengths.
Melissa: So knowing your strengths of your spouse is super important.
Rob: Yeah. Melissa is definitely does all the backend. So Melissa does, all the online stuff, to where she does back end on the coaching business on content, all that kind of stuff.
I don't know how to do that stuff. Me, I learn, I know how to jump on eBay and sell stuff and package it and ship it and Facebook, how to buy stuff. So I'm one portion of the business and Melissa is the other portion of the business.
Melissa: So separating those does kind of help.
Rob: Absolutely. Knowing, and I know I can't do what Melissa can do. Melissa can do some, some of the stuff that I do, Melissa knows how to list. She knows how to do stuff cause she helps the kids with it. And she's, she's really good at the backend stuff. So, kind of having those defining roles will absolutely help you in your business. So if you're doing this with your spouse or you want to do it with your spouse, maybe one of you is the creative one or one takes the really good pictures.
The other one lists and the other one buys, I mean just make sure its what you excel at. Try to stay in your lane and do that and have your spouse do the other one. Try to do that. If you guys can split up the roles, it will help a ton.
Melissa: Even before we started really sharing our flipping journey with everybody.
When I first stayed home, when Roxy was born, I helped you with flipping. So I would do all your listings. So I would again do the backend work. So like you would go buy the stuff cause that's what you were really good at. And I would help you get all this stuff listed because that's like, what you didn't want to do is get everything listed.
And so I was helping you try to stay organized. And get stuff listed. So that kind of works too for that. So yeah, finding your groove and, and working together and not irritating each other when the other person's not doing their part. So that's, that's something that probably took us the longest because I'm not like super organized. I wish I was better organized, but I do like lists and like checking things off of my to-do list. And I like to be like, okay, this is what we're doing today. Get it done. You didn't get it done. Why didn't you get it done? Are you going to do it? Are you going to do it today?
Are you going to do it right now? Like, are you doing it? And that's not really, the best way when you're working together.
Rob: Yeah, for Melissa and I, Melissa is a workaholic and I am the total opposite. I want to work as least as possible. And have fun and play the rest of the time. So that is what we are.
But the other thing is Melissa wants to get stuff done. She wants deadlines and she kind of sometimes will come at me as a boss. And I don't have a boss for a reason. I can't handle a boss, so I'm my own boss. And when she comes in and does that, that rubs the wrong way. She's learned that throughout the years that she knows, she knows how to push my buttons and she knows not to do it, which is really, really good. So she's very good at doing that and that's something I'll encourage, you, know what pushes your spouse's buttons and don't do it, try to steer away from it.
Melissa: Be productive whenever you push each other's buttons.
Rob: Absolutely, absolutely. So that's one of those things that you definitely want to know, and you want to know what really irritates your spouse and don't do it stay away from it, if that's the case.
Melissa: And it kind of helped to like for us in that situation to be where we're doing it together. So we make the goals together and that's what we started to do even on our runs in the morning. Like, okay, well, what are you getting done today? And I'm not holding you accountable to that, but you telling me, what you're doing today is what you want to get done.
So, I'm not micro-managing you because that's not what I'm trying to do, but we just share with each other, what, what are our goals for the day? What do we want to get accomplished for that day? So we can hold each other accountable and, and get it done.
Rob: Which brings us to a really important point too.
Like Melissa before we do anything in the day, we get the kids ready for school. I drop them off at school, come back. Melissa and I get some fresh air. We get outside. We do a one mile walk to our downtown area, a two to three mile run, and then a one mile walk back.
Melissa: And we found some good stuff on those walks.
Rob: We have found stuff in the trash that we're able to resell, but, that's just something that is just a good practice to get out, get fresh air. Melissa and I are able to plan out our day plan out our week whatever's going on in the business at that time. Melissa and I are together almost 24/7 pretty much.
So we always are talking about the business. We love what we do. So it's not like, okay, these hours, businesses talk business talk is off, off limits. That's not what we have. We all, all day, all night, whenever we're thinking about something, we talk about it and we do it. And because we enjoy it, Melissa enjoys the backend.
She's really good at it. I enjoy the front end and thinking of amazing ideas, a hundred a day. I'm really good at that. And yeah, it's just a good team that way. So you really have to learn how to play on your spouse's strengths, learn what they are and learn how to play on them, to, yeah, just to compliment each other.
Melissa: I want to add to the getting outside, especially if you're working from home, it's very important to just get outside, just go walk around your block or go, you know, get out there because it really does help.
You can do it in the morning or maybe in the evening, after a long day. It really just helps reset. Like I always want, I have a hard time sometimes even in the morning when we do our run, I'm like, okay, well here's an hour and a half that I could be being productive. I want to go get exercise, but I can also exercise for 30 minutes and not, but it's really good.
And it sets us up for the day. Like we, we talk about everything, and it just really sets our day. So it is important to us to get that. So just get some fresh air and it doesn't have to be for that long. Like it takes us usually an hour and a half, but it doesn't have to be that long. You could go for a half an hour, whatever it is, but getting outside and getting fresh air can actually help you be more productive than if you were staring at your screen the whole time.
Rob: No, I agree.
Melissa: And I wanted to add too that when you said you get ideas all the time, so that was the next point. So usually one, or maybe both of you, sometimes you're both entrepreneurs, but you want, you have ideas all the time. So. Many ideas sometimes, sometimes many in the day.
Rob: This is me.
Melissa: This is definitely you.
And I used to be, I used to hear an idea and be like, no, we can't do that. We just, we don't have time. We can't do that. And like, right as soon as he would say it, I would just shoot him down and I'd say, no, we can't do that. No, we like, we don't, it's not going to work or whatever. And I would just be very negative.
And this was a while ago, I've learned over the years to not do this, but I would just shoot them down every time. After a while that deflates it deflect you and you just, you don't want to share your ideas anymore.
Rob: Yeah, absolutely. And you really want to build up your spouse and Melissa has learned how that's my button.
Don't push it. Don't sit there and tell me no, we can't do it. Are all the reasons why we can't do it. She knows now I'm going to forget about it in the next 10 or 15 minutes. So don't worry about it. I'm going to come up with another idea. That's going to replace that one and I'll forget about it. So by the time we're done with our run or walk and all that stuff, I probably had five or 10 ideas and some of 'em I might write down and some of them, I might not.
Melissa: Until he's actually going and investing like $10,000 to buy something like that.
I don't really worry about it until that.
Rob: Not a big deal. So learn your spouse, learn what those pushing buttons are. And it just, even her just not saying anything or just not shooting me down, it's a huge help for me. It doesn't set the mood as for, okay, wait a minute. We're going against each other here.
We're fighting against each other because we both have the, I mean, our, our common goals, I mean, are the same, we're married. We're trying to succeed in life and it's one of those things that, yeah. We're not here to cause issues with each other. We don't want to fight. It makes everything worse.
So if we know how not to do it, that's the biggest thing in our relationship is trying to, I guess, build each other up, definitely build each other up versus tearing each other down is a huge portion.
Melissa: That was definitely, probably one of the biggest ones that I've learned over the time, because it is,
it's hard to get shot down all the time. And occasionally I, it happened to me too. I'd have an idea and you would shoot it down, but not as often because you have most of the ideas, but it is you want to encourage. And most of the time, if they are really an entrepreneur, they're gonna forget about it in a little bit.
And it's not going to even really matter. And then maybe they did have a good idea. You write it down. You'd be like, hey, we can't do this right now, but let's plan on this in two months. Like, let's try to revisit this and see if it's something that we can really make happen. So, so that's important.
Another thing that I wrote down too, is to recognize when your spouse is under extra stress. So rob doesn't get stressed very often. It's not something that, I mean you do, but not very often. So whenever he's stressed, I know it's probably not a great time to ask him if he got this thing done or got this thing listed, or it's probably not the best time if he's stressed out about a situation.
Rob: Yeah. No, that's a good point for sure. And that goes back to learning your spouse, learning exactly what pushes their buttons and stay away from them.
That's well, not necessarily stay away, but you can also do encouraging things. So sometimes like, if we have a lot of things going on on the backend and I got to get a lot of stuff done and I feel very overwhelmed and I can't get every thing done, I need to in a day, like you've recognized that and before, and maybe you did the laundry or you did just something to help me out around the house so I don't feel like I'm a complete at a loss, like the laundry's everywhere. I can't even cook. I can't do any of this stuff. Cause I got to get all this stuff done and then you step it up and, and help around the house. So it's just recognizing that in, in your spouse and knowing, because maybe I'll have more stress because I'm doing this stuff, but you don't have that stress.
Melissa: And so it helps. It helps. So did you have anything to add to that?
Rob: No, I think it's good. I think it's awesome. All right guys, well, hopefully this episode has helped you if you are going to start a flipping with your spouse or you're doing it right now. Hopefully you can take some of these tips away, and make a better relationship, make a better business with your spouse.
Melissa: I want to add something that you said too real quick before we hop off. The communicate, a lot of people do say, okay, well, we're going to lunch. We're not talking about work, but we've really love what we do that we want to talk about it. Like we want to always be talking about the next thing and ideas and how we can better serve people.
And I don't know, like I just, I would not want to not talk about it. And I mean people sometimes say that about their kids too, no talking about kids, but I don't know, like we like to talk about them. So that's our life right there is work and our kids. So, and we're with each other all the time. So I guess if you don't spend as much time together, you would want to talk more about yourselves, but yeah.
But yeah, nothing's off limits. We can talk about it all all the time.
So that's it.
Rob: All right guys, hopefully this helped you guys are amazing. We so appreciate you guys listening to these episodes. Let us know, that's it, that's it, but it's, what's in our life. It's what we do. We work together. If we can help anybody out there we want to do that.
Melissa: So if you do feel like you're butting heads a little bit, you're working together now you're at home, maybe more together, just trying to find your groove. You'll find it. It took us a little while. Like we, we would butt heads for a little while and it took us a bit, but now we've got our grooves.
So, not that again, it's all butterflies and rainbows all the time, but you will find a groove and you got this.
Rob: You guys rock. Have a great day. We'll see ya on the next episode.