Rob & Melissa Stephenson from Flea Market Flipper talk about what it's like to work with your spouse.
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Working With Your Spouse
Rob: What's up, pro flippers? On today's episode, we are talking about working with your spouse.
Melissa: And some of the challenges that come up and how to get through some of those challenging moments when you're trying to grow your business with your spouse.
Rob: All right guys, so today we are talking about working with your spouse.
Melissa: It's something that we have experience with obviously. We've been working together now full-time for eight years. Yep. So, we've definitely gone through the, some of the ups and downs of working together and we kind of wanted to dive into that.
It's really kind of sparked from a video I posted last week on Instagram. It was something that you found, that you bought, you brought home, there was a trailer full of something. You didn't tell me what it was. It was just a trailer full of mystery inventory. So I posted the video and then somebody in the comments was asking about like, what do you do?
Like, how do you get your spouse on board with this? And so, and we kept kind of covering, I guess two parts of it. Like what are you, when you're trying to do a, a new business and your spouse isn't really supportive, and then also like working with your spouse. So we can talk about both of those. So absolutely.
It might be, and we're not professional counselors by any means. This is just our own experience in working together and kind of like some of the stuff we've had to work through.
Rob: So yeah, and we have learned, we've learned, how to work good together, compliment each other versus really butting heads and yeah, that's really, really hard.
If you're you and your spouse butt heads, it's hard to work together and go through that stuff. So, kind of stuff that we've dealt with and, hopefully it'll help you guys wherever you're at right now in your flipping journey.
Melissa: Yeah. So first let's dive into, so what if you're trying to start a new business, a new flipping side, hustle, whatever, you're like a new business and your spouse isn't really supportive of you. Like what are some things you can do? So I wrote down a couple of just little notes like, what are some reasons I think finding out why they're not supportive is the big one. So keeping communication open is always huge. So did you wanna add to that?
Rob: Well, there could be multiple reasons why your spouse is not supportive. Is it because she doesn't want clutter in the house or he or she could be, sorry. Either one, if they don't want clutter in the house or if they don't want, maybe it is they think you've dove into stuff in the past and never followed through on it. So this is just another one of those ideas that you've had.
What is the reason why your spouse is not supportive? Like Melissa said, definitely get to the bottom of that. You need to know and communicate that with your spouse, so they know what's going on and you can understand how to better go that next step.
Melissa: Yeah. So we have both sides of this part too, because you've always been flipping our entire marriage.
So, we've been married 15 years now, so you know, it dated start 16 years ago, for as long as I've known you, you've always sold on eBay. So whether it was whatever capacity, you know, a little bit or a lot. When I first met him, he had a, a two bedroom. He was in a duplex two bedroom, and his one bedroom was a, my office was his, all of his stuff, his inventory.
So it was, all of his inventory was in his, in the apartment. And, so I've always known that he had stuff. It wasn't a new surprise that he had stuff. But over the years, like it, this is an, this business doesn't come naturally to me, so like I'm not out there looking for deals and looking to sell on eBay.
Like this is something that we've kind of grown together. But in the beginning when you started really diving in more and doing this more full-time and more on a bigger scale, you started bringing more stuff home and that was something that was like, okay, well there's too much stuff in the house.
I don't want it in the house anymore. Like, and that was kind of a, I don't know, touching point, I guess. Yeah. So that's when you went to a storage unit and something, and maybe that is, it's a simple solution of finding out they just don't want stuff in the house. They want the spare bedroom or whatever and maybe getting a storage unit that you can work out of might helpful or shed in the backyard. Something, a simple solution to that. So.
Rob: No, I think that helps. So that's the first one is, is if your, if your spouse has the issue with, the stuff in the house, figure out how you can get it outta the house and go that route.
This business is amazing and you can make so much money in this business. Whatever you apply towards it, you can totally get out of it. So, if that is the first thing that you are struggling with, easy solution, you're making enough money to actually get a storage unit, get a shed in the backyard, just like Melissa said.
Yeah. The second one, not, not super easy to overcome, but it is one of the things that I have struggled with because of my ADD of, okay, let's do this. Okay, let's do that. Let's do this, let's do this. This is a great idea. Let's do this. I'm all over the place, always. And at some point, that's.
Melissa: A new idea every day.
Rob: You have to reel in and you gotta really focus on one thing. And that's what, when we did this, eight years ago now.
Melissa: We really honed in and jumped into it.
Rob: Really honed into flipping and really honed into coaching and really we have not looked back since then. We have that is what we've been all in on, is this, these two portions of our business flipping and teaching other people how to do it.
And that has been an amazing thing, but I focused, and I always, I've said this before on, multiple podcasts. My brother-in-law, very, very successful. He had a landscape business, built it from probably, I don't even know. Right as he was graduating, he was 18, right? Well, probably started when he was 16 in high school.
Built a portion of his business up while he was in high school. When he was 18 full-time into landscaping and yeah, we're talking crazy, crazy successful. And when I say success, insane. Successful. Like Like they were doing multiple six figures every single month is, that's how big he grew his business into.
Just insane success. And he told me, cuz him and I have similar mindsets on the entrepreneurship, he told me, listen Rob, your issue is not your ideas. Ideas are everywhere. Your issue is focusing on one thing. Once you pick that one business, that one idea that you're gonna focus on, do it.
Don't stop doing it. Like, don't hit a a, a wall and stop, keep going with it. You keep going. Any of your ideas are amazing and they're, you're gonna be successful at any of them, but you have to choose that one. And when you choose that one, you'll see the success. And that's really what Melissa and I with the flipping career.
With the, the, the coaching, everything that we're doing, we're really focusing on. It really goes back to one thing, and that's what we're doing. So maybe that's what you have to do with your spouse right now, is if they see you all over the place and doing a different thing every single week or every single month, and you're coming up with an idea.
It's gonna be one of those things where you need to really start to get some results and really make up your mind if this is it, that you really start honing in, getting some results. Your spouse will, spouse will be more supportive as they see you really honing in on this one idea.
Melissa: Yeah. Sometimes they just need to see that there it is actually can work for you and that you will follow through. And then like, kind of make it a little game with yourself too. Like, okay, well I'm, I can show them that it can work. Like we're not saying like, go behind your spouse's back or do anything, like, anything crazy, but if you can show 'em, okay, look like we're, we're, we've gotten this, we made this much this month, I really think this could be a viable thing to do.
So at, you know, and if you do have a track record of shiny object syndrome like that, that's probably just why they don't think it's gonna work. And so, but if you can show 'em like, yeah, look, it can work, then, then they're more likely to, and we have in our group, we know of several people who, yeah, their spouses weren't quite on board and then they saw what they were able to make and they're like, oh, this is kind of cool.
Like this is actually a fun idea. And then they start doing it with them. We have multiple couples in our group.
Rob: I still remember one of our coaches, Stacy, started out and her husband said, no, we're not doing this. This is not a good idea. And she decided that she was gonna do it and she was gonna start to get slow results.
Well, her first, after she actually jumped in and, had us, her flip was a $3,000. It was, yeah. After she jumped in, went through Flipper University. Her first flip was a, some type of medical, I don't know if it's medical. It's a standing device. Yeah. And anyway, she sold it. She only spent like $125 on it.
I think it was, sold it for over $3,000 and that's when her husband's like, well, wait a minute. What are you doing? This might be a really, really good idea. So it's one of those things that, yeah, you, the proof is in the pudding. You have to really show your spouse what the potential is, and you really have to stick with it.
You cannot jump from, from thing to thing to think, that's just, it will keep creating the same exact result that you're getting right now with your spouse. So you really have to pick that one thing and decide that's what you're gonna do.
Melissa: Yeah. And then, and along those lines too, I was just thinking that being supportive of.
Being on the other side of it, like you always have all of these ideas. And so one thing that I had to learn being like him being like such an entrepreneur, having new ideas. Even now in our business now, we still have like small ideas to execute in the business. And then, but it would still not focus on what we really need to focus on.
Like, so they're not really the best ideas to go on a tangent. But then I thought, as long as I listen to him and be like, that's a great idea, then he forgets about it the next day.
Rob: Onto something else.
Melissa: Onto something new.
Rob: So, but we're still staying focused on that one thing, staying focus that we are working on.
Melissa: So, but it's just like learning each other and what really energizes each other is a huge piece. Absolutely. But but one of the last ones, it kind of goes along with the other one, was maybe the, your spouse's nervous about you spending money on inventory, cuz that is something that also happens with us.
Like anything, I'm fine if he spends $50, a hundred dollars. Okay. And now I know that. I have confidence that what he, whatever he invested, he's gonna make the money back. But I don't like to do the big investments. They still make me nervous. So like those stretchers that we just did, I didn't, we already said that before.
I didn't want him to do it. That was $2,000. And that's a lot of money. So maybe, maybe have that conversation with your spouse, like what's a comfortable, like, where are we comfortable with? And then if you have a proven track record and then you're selling it, you're making it. You're buying it, you're selling it, and then you show over and over again, it's working.
Then you can get more comfortable with the bigger investments. So we still don't do a lot of big investments, but yeah, we do some.
Rob: No, exactly, and I think being honest and being upfront and always having that open communication with your spouse, that's what you have to figure out. Now, I sometimes know if I'm going for a bigger investment, Melissa and I will disagree on it.
Almost every investment that I've ever done, we've disagreed, but I know the potential in the investment. And yeah, I, so I'll make the ultimate decision, but I'm the, the one that it lays on as well. So if I'm willing to take that ultimate decision of, she doesn't want me to do it because it's a lot of money.
I have to know what I'm doing is gonna pay off. And I have to know beyond a shadow of a doubt, I know what I'm doing.
Melissa: You're super confident in it.
Rob: Exactly. And everything that we've done like that, and it's, I'm not talking about this like every single week we're doing this. No. It's comes once in a blue moon where it will come at.
And she might have a disagreement with me on that. But it ends up just like the stretchers. 20, I think we've spent $2,200 and we made almost over $30,000 in a short amount of time with those. But it just goes to show that that's one of those things. She wasn't comfortable with it, she didn't want me to do it.
But then I did it and I proved to her the first, you know, the first one we sold, paid for all of them, and then they kept moving quicker and quicker. So I had, I have the knowledge how to do that stuff, that you really just have to build that knowledge and you really have to build that with your spouse as well.
That Melissa knows if I do make that decision, I'm gonna get it back out of it. And it's one of those things that, yeah, it, it will be a good result once we're doing it.
Melissa: Yeah. I don't think I wanted you to get the Sleep Number beds either.
Rob: I don't either.
Melissa: I don't remember that one. That was a, what'd we spend? I think almost $3,000 on that.
And it made us like $50,000 or something. 60?
Rob: 60 sleep number beds that we bought from a hotel. So another one of those things that yeah, she was against it. I mean, I could name off stuff. I mean, it's been a handful. Yeah. The jet skis. I bought two jet skis. Yeah, that we sold for a lot of money. It was a $5,000 up upfront.
Yeah. But then we sold 'em for like $17,000 or $18,000 together.
Melissa: I don't like those big investments.
Rob: The tower, the tower that we did. Yeah, the parking lot tower, we sold that. That was in a big investment. $5,000. We sold it for $25,000. It's one of those things that, yeah, and I get it too. I, I, that's not my comfort zone, my comfort zone at definitely $50 to $100 on the investment level.
I don't like to go over that. That's where I'm really, really comfortable. But at the same time, if I'm gonna invest more than that, if I'm gonna invest a thousand more, $2,000, I have to know that the profit is there and it's a big profit. It's a good profit to go with.
Melissa: So, yeah. So that's kind of, if your spouse is not quite on board yet, but what if you are now in this business and you're working it together?
So we know some couples who do their reselling business together. We've interviewed one of, just recently, the husband and wife work together at
Rob: Freeway Flippers?
Melissa: No, no. There's a couple of 'em. There might. They're, they're one of 'em too. But one of our course members too, the wife does all the backend stuff, like all the bookkeeping and listing, and he goes and finds it.
Rob: Oh yeah, who was that?
Melissa: So yeah, I don't remember. We just did the interview. Now, I feel bad. We'll have to find it. We'll put it in there. We'll put a link in the show notes to that interview. Ah, it was good. Anyways. So yeah, that was, it, it, once you're working together, what are some things that can come up and how do you get past any things that can, like we're still, we're in this right now, so it's not like we've mastered this.
We enjoy working together every day. Absolutely. I would say, I would never regret, I love that we get to spend the time together and we don't really argue a lot, but I feel like we've learned how to work together. And I think that's communication. I think it, the biggest thing is communication and learning, not how to push each other's buttons, would you say?
Rob: Absolutely. Yeah. So because you know, when, you know, I mean, we've been married 15 years, almost 16 years. You know how to push your spouse's buttons when you're, especially more than anybody else, especially when we're like, 15 or 16 years. But out of the last nine years, we've almost spent 24/7 7 together because we're working closely with our business.
I mean, I go out and package stuff sometimes, or I'll go out and pick some stuff up to where she's not with me, but sometimes she'll ride with me to where we are communicating daily, almost every single day, 24 hours a day. You know what I mean? It's one of those things where we've probably been married for 60 years when it comes on normal people's, they spend a lot of time together.
They go to their, their job eight hours a day. They spend maybe an hour or two with their spouse before bedtime. And then, yeah, it's one of those things where the amount of time that we spend together is insane, to just, but it creates a closer bond with us and we learn how to push each other's buttons.
We learn how not to push, push each other's buttons. And that's the biggest thing, is really not trying to get that rise or really getting that, having that communication with your spouse that you're not gonna do that when you get into an argument. That's the biggest thing.
Melissa: Yeah, I, it is something that you just kinda learn how to work together and I feel like probably in the beginning we had more disagreements and cuz I am more like a planner and I want things, I wanna make a schedule and I want things like, here's the schedule, this is what we said we're gonna do, so we're gonna do it.
So if I'm the one saying we're gonna, or you say we're gonna do it, and then it gets pushed back. I'm like, no, we said we're gonna do it. We have to do it. And so that has caused some, like, he's like, well, I don't have a schedule for a reason. But now you've come around and you're like, okay, we need a schedule, or you'll schedule yourself out.
And, and that's been on your own terms, so not from my pushing. Because you know, your spouse can also sound like they're nagging if they're gonna be like, you have to be here at this time. So. Absolutely. That might not work. So, yeah, because he what'd you used to say?
Rob: I don't have a boss for a reason.
Melissa: I don't have a boss for a reason, so.
Rob: So don't be my boss please.
Melissa: So, but it's just having that understanding. Yeah. And we've had where, like as far as the content creation or our, of our business and stuff we've had where we, if we're in a disagreement, we can't do anything. Like, we can't do videos, we can't do trainings, we can't do any content.
And then it's like anything that we were ahead gets dropped back cuz we missed out on a couple of days. So it's I have in the past ended an argument just so we could get back to work. So I will say that and yeah. I've done that.
Rob: That works out in your favor. If you are working with your spouse and they know that portion of it, they might end a disagreement because of that portion. So, yeah.
Melissa: I think the biggest thing is just open communication.
Rob: I agree. Communication is a number one tip for this podcast, this this video, definitely communication with your, keep that
Melissa: Tomas.
Rob: Tomas is who we were. Sorry. Definitely keep that. That's who we interviewed. Communication open so you guys can work together, learn and grow together.
That's the biggest thing.
Melissa: And you do, most couples, you will have one person has this strength and one person has this strength. So, I think that's a, a huge benefit. Like usually you're not two of the same type of personalities that end up get together, and that's, that's great.
Yeah, because your strengths are, are their weaknesses or their weaknesses or your strengths.
So if you can learn to play into your strengths, you got, you know, you can work together and be a, a power, power couple absolutely powerhouse. So, so it's pretty cool as long once you can learn what those buttons are, not to press 'em and how to communicate and keep that communication open. So, absolutely.
Anything else you wanna add?
Rob: That's it.
Melissa: We're still a work in progress, so we enjoy working with each other.
Rob: Stick with it. It's awesome. It's amazing when you do. Yeah. And we're not a master of it by any means, but it's amazing when you're able to do it. And we're really, I think we do a pretty good job though.
Absolutely. Really enjoy it. So.
Melissa: You like to spend that much time with me, right?
Rob: I do. All right. I do.
Melissa: So here's to more years of working together right?
Rob: You guys rock. Have a great day. We'll see you guys on the next episode.